"autumn wins you best by this, its mute appeal to sympathy for its decay..."

la dispute - yann tiersen

"Madness, provided it comes as a gift from heaven, is the channel by which we receive the greatest blessings.... If a man comes to the door of poetry untouched by the madness of the Muses, believing that technique alone will make him a great poet, he and his sane compositions never reach perfection, but are utterly eclipsed by the performances of the inspired madman."

--Plato

Autumn approaches… been reading the French poet Peguy, studying the German language with my little sis, transforming my diet to a whole new level of health (thanks to my family’s newly enforced dieting menu plan). Gah I just want a donut. Enough with the salads, fruit, and microscopic portions of oatmeal. Barefoot running every other day, and noticing a steadily increasing passion for running, and longer distances. Born to Run by Christopher McDougall honestly changed my perspective on life, I keep that book next to my bible. The incessant rainstorms here in Florida give ample room for meditating, reading, and my sewing projects. This skirt pattern I’m working on is making me a little uneasy, as its being hand-sewn. I need a machine…this is gunna take forever!!!


         Milton is one of my favorite poets, and Paradise Lost my favorite book. Whether it is theologically accurate or not doesn’t concern me, I just simply love the brilliance of Milton’s mind, woven in beautiful language throughout this literary masterpiece. Book IV is particularly my favorite, as I find it the most intriguing. Milton expresses, through profound use of prose, the powerful linguistic seductions of Satan to Eve. Easily said, Satan’s intention is to find either Adam or Eve and persuade them to disobey the command of God by eating of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Preferring to find Eve alone in the garden, he gleefully spots her alone and confronting her in the form of a snake he proceeds to carry out his evil quest in different manners of speech. He starts with excessive praises of her beauty, her superiority to man, and her near likeness to divinity. Eve (oh Eve…) is amazed that a snake can talk and intrigued, she questions him as to how this came to be. He tells her that he was endowed with this power because he ate the fruit of a certain tree and that she too can have this power and knowledge. He then leads her to the alleged tree where she recognizes the forbidden tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Satan then persuades her into thinking that she is superior to all creation and with these delusions of grandeur she begins to desire to be ranked parallel with God. She eats of the fruit and immediately fears her separation with Adam regarding her fate. Running to him she persuades him to eat of the fruit as well and share her fate. Because of the unique language of Satan and the use of reason, observation, scientific language, and experience in his discourse with Eve, his devious wiles prove effective, with fateful consequences. So, his intelligence, knowledge, and experience impress her and in her naivety she trusts him…

I see this story in Genesis as a very figurative tale, told in this form simply to inform mankind of his weak nature, and the necessity of avoiding and learning from our mistakes. The seducer/snake/satan/whatever could be anything that tempts us into sin. Satan appears to Eve in the physical form of a serpent. He is precisely described as a “Mere Serpent” and this most likely means that he was simply a serpent and not the half-woman and half-serpent that he was often depicted as in paintings before and during Milton’s time. He approaches her as a majestic serpent and tries to “lure her eye” towards him. In his first speech to Eve he primarily flatters her beauty with smooth compliments. He works on her pride and takes advantage of her naivety out of extreme envy and hate: “what hither brought us, hate, not love, nor hope/ Of paradise for Hell, hope here to taste/ Of pleasure, but all pleasure to destroy…other joy/ To me is lost.” He calls her “sovran mistress” and his use of this word sovran brings to mind when he previously called the fallen angels by this adjective as well. Not only is he everything despicable and filthy, but he’s also redundant… Ok, so then he describes his state when in her presence as: “I approach thee thus, and gaze/ Insatiate,” While flattering her with this adjective it also seems to represent in a way his defective view of all creation as desiring something insatiate. He talks about how the animals do not appreciate her beauty and are “shallow to discern half what in thee is fair”. He verbally notes also that she is appreciated by one man only when he says, “one man except/ Who sees thee? (and what is one?)” And he tells her she deserves and ought to be recognized as a goddess ceaselessly by a numberless amount of angels: “who shouldst be seen/ A Goddess among Gods, ador’d and serv’d/ By Angels numberless, thy daily Train.” By this point Eve does not seem to be entirely taken in by his cajoling but rather, astonished and intrigued that an animal has the power to talk. Satan continues to play on her pride, working on this as he’s already got her curiosity rather peaked. He goes further, placing her in equality with God Himself: “But all that fair and good in thy Divine/ Semblance, and in thy Beauty’s heav’nly Ray/ United I beheld; no Fair to thine/ Equivalent or second, which compell’d/ Mee thus…to come/ And gaze, and worship thee of right declar’d/ Sovran of Creatures, universal Dame."

After his praises in the physical aspect he moves on to talk of interior facets, in particular the ability to reason. He claims the fruit of the tree instilled in him a higher degree of reason: “Strange alteration in me, to degree/ Of Reason in my inward Powers,” Still unwary and amazed, Eve asks him to bring her to this tree but upon seeing it she recognizes it as the tree forbidden by God, saying, “Serpent, we might have spared our coming hither/ Fruitless to mee, though Fruit be here to excess…of this Tree we may not taste nor touch;/ God so commanded, and left that Command/ Sole Daughter of his voice; the rest, we live/ Law to ourselves, our Reason is our Law.” Basically, she’s stating that His command was revealed merely through a voice from Heaven and more of a revelation than an absolute direct command. She therefore mitigates God’s strict forbiddance to eat of the Tree of Knowledge and particularly notes her independence outside of this divine command, relying on her reasoning as law. Perhaps this is because of her interest and belief in the serpent’s story and because of a desire to partake in the fruit as well. Satan then claims that using the great power of the tree to reason he can scrutinize this questionable imposition and sympathize with man. He boldly questions the justice of God for inflicting death on His creation, saying “I feel thy Power/ …to trace the ways/ Of highest Agents deem’d however wise.” After presenting God’s command as questionable he goes on to claim it as completely untrue: “Queen of this Universe, do not believe/ Those rigid threats of Death; ye shall not Die.” He speaks of death as a trivial and vague thing, “the pain/ Of Death…whatever thing Death be”. He argues that God cannot therefore be a good or just God if He causes her to be inflicted with death or pain of any kind… (this always makes me think of the subject of suffering as expressed in the Wreck of the Deutschland). “God therefore cannot hurt ye, and be just;/ Not just, not God; not fear’d then, nor obeyed:/ Your fear itself of Death removes the fear.” He then concludes that the reason for God’s command to not eat of the fruit assuredly was to keep man in constant awe or fear, and in ignorance of true knowledge and from sharing in His divine power. He says “Why then was this forbid? Why but to awe,/ Why but to keep ye low and ignorant,/ His worshippers; he knows that in the day/ Ye Eat thereof, your Eyes/…shall perfectly be then/ Op’n’d and clear’d, and ye shall be as Gods” He finishes by entreating her to eat of the fruit: “Goddess humane, reach then, and freely taste.” His paradoxical name for her touches on the possibility of soon becoming god-like and is also a reminder of her mere and impaired humanity if she does not eat the fruit. 
I find it extremely hard in understanding Milton’s character of Satan… He’s complex, inhuman…just utterly void of life. Through his spite Satan causes Eve’s loss of salvation and hope because of his own dire loss of all salvation and hope. In using his deft guile Satan is too often successful in snaring unsuspecting or careless souls. Milton aptly relates the state of these two creatures that have fallen from the grace of God through the sin of pride, and to the strong tendency of modern man towards pride. As Eve was foolishly seduced through her vanity and naivety, Adam was quite un-involved in her protection and weakly convinced by her entreaties. This lack of Manliness on is part is equally matched by her degenerated role as Woman. Purity and Strength are a battle worth fighting for, and this story hopefully will serve solely as an example of what to personally avoid every.single.day. Eve’s false perception of herself as impaired, compared to the serpent, is ironical because her soul is pure and the serpent’s is not. It seems that overall Milton was trying to express a depiction of and his profound sorrow for a fallen humanity. It seems he is relating this knowledge of the origins of mankind’s fallen state to us so that mankind will fight to regain once again his Paradise lost.

"Hope is a little girl, nothing at all…

What surprises me, says God, is hope. 

And I can’t get over it. 

This little hope who seems like nothing at all. 

This little girl hope." - Peguy

Surf's Up

Spinning Away - Sugar Ray

the summer...is finally here!! i think my hair is about to fall out from all the saltwater, sand, and sun that has bleached and roughened it over the past few weeks. not to mention the amounts of sunblock that fail to protect my skin from the sun's relentless rays these days. i'm afraid i really am transforming into a regular habitual floridian beach bum. living on campus in the summer is definitely a breath of fresh air. of course it's even better when you're not taking classes, and only working part-time at night. here are some of my favorite beach bunny jams this summer. totally boss! ;D well... i'm out.. enjoy your chillaxing time in the sun while it lasts! the next few months are going to be dedicated to the sun, sand, water, de-stressing and quiet time, a few travel trips to see some special people, and then back down to the sun, sand, and water again (as it is all year round here in the Sunshine State!)

Litzsomania (Classixx Remix) - Phoenix

Closer to the Sun - Slightly Stoopid

Go Outside - Cults

White Sky - Vampire Weekend

Hot Air Balloon - Owl City

Swing Tree - Discovery

Feeling Alright - Rebelution

the glory, jest, and riddle of the world..

Know then thyself, presume not God to scan;

The proper study of mankind is Man.

Placed on this isthmus of a middle state,

A being darkly wise, and rudely great:

With too much knowledge for the Sceptic side,

With too much weakness for the Stoic's pride,

He hangs between; in doubt to act, or rest,

In doubt to deem himself a god, or beast;

In doubt his mind or body to prefer,

Born but to die, and reasoning but to err;

Alike in ignorance, his reason such,

Whether he thinks too little, or too much:

Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;

Still by himself abused, or disabused;

Created half to ride, and half to fall;

Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;

Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurled:

The glory, jest, and riddle of the world! . . .

           you've heard the famous line "good nature and good sense must ever join; to err is human, to forgive divine"? just studying some Alexander Pope for our 18th century lit final exam coming up. An Essay on Man is one of my favorite's of his writings (next to The Rape of the Lock). I don't know why but whenever I read Pope it always gives me the urge to read some of Milton. Do they have similar styles in writing? or is it the context? Either way, I really like this essay on the incompleteness of mankind and his vulnerable dependency on the entirety of creation. Without the support of their existence he cannot subsist. Pope also goes on to express the dire importance of man searching for truth and happiness from internal sources, rather than external possessions, from which issues mankind's turbulent complaint derived from the faulty expectations of pride. Basically, once man dies to himself, once man loses himself in the Greater Gaze of a higher Being, then he will find himself. Noticeably, this philosophy is along the same lines as The Last Meditations. . . but so are all Christian literary works. If their message is true, then they all tell the same story obviously, the authors just go about expressing it in different ways.

See him from nature rising slow to art!

To copy instinct then was reason's part;

Thus then to man the voice of Nature spake--

'Go, from the creatures thy instructions take. . .

Here too all forms of social union find,

And hence let reason, late, instruct mankind. . .

               an interesting fact about poets and writers, is the number that suffered from physical or social disabilities. Robert Louis Stevenson and Alexander Pope are an ideal example of this category. What's amazing about the little, disfigured Pope is that even though he suffered from tuberculosis of the bone, asthma, was barely five feet tall, and wore a stiffened canvas bodice to support his severe hunchback, he is considered the epitome of neoclassicism...in England at least. I love the fact that he was close friends with Jonathan Switft, John Gay, Congreve, and Robert Harley, was entirely sweet-tempered and amiable, was super close to his pet dog Bounce, and was nicknamed for his beautifully melodious voice. What an interesting character. Sometimes I wonder what it was like to know a potentially famous writer.. what if I meet one in my lifetime? or what if I already know one? its something worth musing over, haha.

'Til superstition taught the tyrant awe,

Then shared the tyranny, then lent it aid,

And gods of conquerors, slaves of subjects made:

She, midst the lightning's blaze, and thunder's sound,

When rocked the mountains, and when groaned the ground,

She taught the weak to bend, the proud to pray,

To power unseen, and mightier far than they:

She, from the rending earth and bursting skies,

Saw gods descend and fiends infernal rise:

Here fixed the dreadful, there the blest abodes:

Fear made her devils, and weak hope her gods;

Gods partial, changeful, passionate, unjust,

Whose attributes were rage, revenge, or lust;

Such as the souls of cowards might conceive,

And, formed like tyrants, tyrants would believe.

the last meditations

my big sis handed me a little tiny book a couple weeks ago and said "argue with him...but read it." i've never argued with an author before, let alone argued with him and yet kept on reading his work fervently. i've been reading like one meditation a day, and its probably the most thought-provoking book i've ever read. J. Francis Stroud, S.J. says to "take each one of these meditations and carry it with you throughout your day. Challenge his ideas, mull over his thoughts, and then be silent." 
here's a quote that struck me today. i'll most likely be randomly putting down quotes from this book from time to time...


"What then is happiness? Very few people know and no one call tell you, because happiness cannot be described. Can you describe light to people who have been sitting in darkness all their lives? Can you describe reality to someone in a dream? Understand your darkness and it will vanish; then you will know what light is. Understand your nightmare for what it is and it will stop; then you will wake up to reality. Understand your false beliefs and they will drop; then you will know the taste of happiness.."



The Way To Love - The Last Meditations of Anthony De Mello.

tennessee whisky

out of nashville, tennessee. i miss their old lead vocalist, chris stapleton, (he did have an awesome beard...and that hat), but gary nichols is amazing as well. regardless i love to sing along to their soulful bluegrass songs.

midnight train to memphis - the steeldrivers

californian "folk punk" or not, its catchy american folk/blues and borderline bluegrass.

old number seven - the devil makes three

southern rock? black keys? murder by death is closely akin to both. good road trip music.

a second opinion - murder by death

'52 ford - murder by death

and an old school classic one that i love...

God's gonna cut you down - johnny cash

and some pics i took with the sibs when i visited home last weekend.

quick snap of joe's new truck

i'll show you the life of the mind.

    last weekend Professor Thomas S.Hibbs (a distinguished professor of Ethics & Culture and also Dean of the Honors College at Baylor University) visited Ave Maria University - at which I am a sophomore - and gave an excellent talk. I was so excited because his talk was on the films of the Coen brothers, of which I happen to be a huge fan. One of my fellow sophomores (and fellow lit majors) interviewed him about his talk, which went as follows: 

Leslie: What led you to choose to speak on the Coen brothers’ work?

Dr. Hibbs: I think the Coen brothers are an interesting set of filmmakers in contemporary film. They’ve operated in various genres of film from Westerns to neo-noir to straight comedy. They make films that bridge the gap between independent and popular film. Often, they make movies based upon novels. For True Grit, they went back to the original book. Also, they have used Cormac McCarthy novels. The Coens operate in an interesting niche in film, between literary text and the visual genre that is film. They also raise interesting philosophical questions in many of their movies. As a philosopher who works on film, I find them interesting for that reason as well.

Leslie: I know that Blood Simple was the Coen brothers’ directorial debut and they came out with True Grit recently. How do you think the Coen brothers’ work has evolved over time?

Dr. Hibbs: I don’t see a clear line of development in the Coen films. They strike me as filmmakers who really search for interesting ideas. It is interesting to compare them to other contemporary filmmakers, including Shyamalan and Nolan. A development in philosophical ideas can be seen in Nolan’s films, for example in The Dark Knight and Momento. Shyamalan strikes on one or two big ideas but hasn’t found stories to sustain interesting movies. The Coen brothers are different. They have no clear philosophical development, but rather go in search of interesting ideas, giving their own twist and take to these stories.

Leslie: What are your thoughts on Blood Simple and what is its relationship to the rest of the Coen brothers’ work?

Dr. Hibbs: The Coen films are beholden to classical film noir; Fargo has elements of this. Also, in No Country for Old Men, they play off classic noir themes. Blood Simple does this probably more than any of the others. It is a crime film depicting a culture immersed in criminality, lust, greed and violence. It’s a culture where it is difficult to tell who’s good and who’s bad. The characters are trapped in worlds that they are trying to figure out. Within the Coen films are stylistic echoes of borrowing from classic noir.

In neo-noir, which emerged in the 1970s, filmmakers do something different. One real difference is that filmmakers in the ‘70s were more consciously imitating noir. Films were not really called noir until the 1940s. By the ‘70s and ‘80s, filmmakers were consciously making noir as we know it.

In Blood Simple there is a dark, even nihilistic comic element not as present in classic noir. Blood Simple raises philosophical questions including how comedy changes when noir is incorporated. Are we laughing at or with the characters in this film? Are there innocent human beings in the world? Is there a possibility of justice in this world?

Another theme in Blood Simple has to do with its title. The premise of the film is based upon a crime-sighting theory that no matter how callous a criminal is, in the moment of committing murder, the supposed criminal will lose control, go “blood simple” and make a mistake, betraying him or herself. The film calls into question whether characters can get away with criminality. There is a tendency in modern noir, say in Chinatown or in Body Heat, to depict characters that get away with crime. The Coen brothers huddle close to this camp.

Leslie: In your book Arts of Darkness, you discuss the redemptive quality of the noir genre. In what way does Blood Simple, as a neo-noir film, have a redemptive quality?

Dr. Hibbs: Blood Simple doesn’t have that quality. True Grit might be said have this. O Brother, Where Art Thou? may also offer a clear understanding of justice. Blood Simple is more problematic because it flirts with a kind of nihilism. Although, there may be some level of justice to be found in the film. In Arts of Darkness, I argue that there is a quest for redemption in classical noir. From the ‘70s onward there was a split in noir. Some films carry on the quest for redemption while others show a preponderance of nihilistic noir. Blood Simple is of the latter category.

  during his talk on these films by Joel and Ethan, Professor Gibbs stated how they are always faithful to the source. For example, in True Grit, the dialect, plot, events, and characters were so accurate to the original novel. I remember a lot of people leaving the the theater after True Grit, mumbling about how oddly scripted it seemed and how awkward the characters' speech was, but that's how it was written in the book, and as usual with the Coen brothers, they stayed true to the original source. I say kudos to them on that. They are also very unpredictable in their filming if they have written the story themselves, rather than pulling from a novel. Every film I have seen by them has had a deeply philosophical thesis, even if not observed immediately. Almost all their films require some studying and close reviewing in order to find the significant metaphors and hidden hypothesis'. There is frequently a fundamental battle between lust and greed, with the continual triumph of greed. Just as a premonitory warning, the greed's gonna win. Another aspect of their filming that I like is that we often participate in a disorientation of perspective with the primary character, i.e.; the camera is focused on a telephone, we see a hand pick it up and as the camera pans out the window we hear the voice. There is a feeling of disconnection with reality that the character is experiencing that carries over to the audience. Many of their films are reminiscent of the classic noir films of the '40's and '50's. The finality to these films were democratic in a very sobering way...nobody wins. Like all classic noir films that were centered around criminal investigation or sexual motivations, the Coens' films and characters reflect these occasionally. For example, in Barton Fink, like the general motif in most classic noir films, the criminal undoes himself. The "life of the mind" is damnation. At the end of Barton Fink John Goodman as Charlie Meadows is running through the burning hotel, exposed as the crimnal, and yelling "I'll show you the life of the mind! I'll show you the life of the mind!" It really is disturbing and gives the impression of neo-noir films, which basically treated the theme of mental dispossession within stylistic and tonal frameworks derived from classic film noir. Just a fore-warning for those who wish to be writers.. do NOT watch Barton Fink. Basically, it depicts the mind as hell, with the platonic writer eternally tormented on this earth and only able to write if he suffers from great internal, mental and spiritual pain. When I finished the movie I couldn't sleep and was both disturbed, scared stiff to ever pursue writing...but also, deeply inspired to write. Kinda paradoxical, but it definitely stirred my emotions and affected my perception of writing and those who write by profession. An interesting detail I noticed about the Coen's is their pointed attention to dialects. stiff western grammar and dialect in True Grit, oddly funny mid-western Minnesota accents in Fargo, the semi-hippie "dude" californian surfer speech in the Big Labowski, the New York dialect of Barton Fink, the deep southern drawls in Oh Brother Where Art Thou, and so on. They are also all about integrating natural rhythm, community, and comedy into their films, especially in metaphorical, symbolic, or over-toning methods. I highly respect these men, the actors they frequently use in their films, and I strongly recommend you to take the time to sit back and watch a stunning magnum opus of the universally esteemed Coen brothers. 
(I also commend them on their film composition choice: Carter Burwell. He composed around a dozen of their films.)

live like you were dyin'

my drill master showed me this video. my eyes were glued of course, and it brings tears everytime i watch this routine. stacy westfall, you are my hero.

just plain effortless beauty and passion: 
Stacy Westfall in 2006 in Quarter Horse Congress Free Style Reining...bridleless and bareback.

leaning on the everlasting arms - iris dement

I respect Westfall and admire her skills and endurance so much. If you don't know her, she's a professional horse trainer and rider. Her specialty is in reining. She was actually the first woman to compete in the "Road to the Horse" competition. And she won it. In the above video she won the Quarter Horse Congress Free Style Reining, as you can guess after you finish it. And the gorgeous black mare that she's riding? Yea, I fell in love too. Her name is Whizards Baby Doll, aka Roxy. Her story became so popular that she was interviewed by Degeneres on her show in 2008.

  

Her sick record: 
-1997 Graduate of University of Findlay
-2003 NRHA Futurity Freestyle Champion..bridleless.
-2005 All American Quarter Horse Congress Freestyle Futurity Champion
-2005 NRHA Futurity Freestyle Champion
-2006 Road to the Horse colt Starting Champion
-2006 All American Quarter Horse Congress Freestyle Champion..bridleless and bareback.
-2006 Named to The University of Findlay’s Western Equestrian Wall of Fame

you can check her out at her page, http://www.westfallhorsemanship.com/

walked a hundred miles in tobacco skin

something pretty - patrick park

felt like sharing one of my favorite american folk artists, Patrick Park. son of a poet, native of colorado, he rules indie/folk musicians. these two are my favorite of all of his songs.

how the heart grows wicked - patrick park

 












and another favorite american-based folk band: Blitzen Trapper. been musicians since the age of three (points for that), are a dylan-esque ensemble (more points), and are based out of Portland (more points).

black river killer - blitzen trapper

 

 












furr - blitzen trapper

le livre des rêves

  i have been writing my dreams down in my little Book of Dreams lately. sometimes i draw pictures to try and convey the imagery of them. they are like elaborate stories in themselves, like mini movies; a creation in themselves. the imagery and atmosphere is always very similar to that in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. today i realized that i am forever free from the unnecessary curiosity in narcotics, as my dreams are quite trippy enough. i look forward to them now, each night brings a whole different world, and i write them down right away before i forget. in a way, they are like an outlet...their diversity and symbolic relation to thoughts in my psyche are like therapy, because if they don't answer my thoughts, they at least help me cope with them. along with fairytales and stories, dreams are my favorite. they are like fairytales in themselves: they entail a story, life, color, and the whole aspect of wonder is constantly present in the dreamer.. in a way, you are the creator of the world, but at the same time, the audience, hence the wonder.

   i've heard the expression that people get lost in their dreams, and that they see it as an escape from reality. maybe it's odd, but i don't get lost in my dreams. i always find something in them. it's kind of hard to put it down, but they're never meaningless or pointless. all of them are just plain funny and bizarre, at least to me, but also personally significant in some moving way.

the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams - eleanor roosevelt

Dreams are part of our heart and soul
Our dreams go to the depths of our thoughts,
Wants, and needs to fulfill our destiny.

 if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.

- alice in wonderland